33 Tested and Trusted Ways to Avoid Infidelity

infidelity

33 Tested and Trusted Ways to Avoid Infidelity
By Azuka Onwuka

Have you ever been cheated on?

Have you cheated on your spouse?

Have you ever contemplated cheating on your spouse?

What would you do if you discovered that you have been cheated on?

Questions and more questions.

Before you think of cheating on your spouse, just ask yourself how you would feel if you discovered that your spouse has cheated on you. Broken? Betrayed? Insulted? Mad?

Even the most unfaithful person in the world does not want to be cheated on, because infidelity hurts the cheated deeply… very deeply. It leaves a scar in the heart that does not fade easily.

Luckily, infidelity is not a reflex action: it’s not like sneezing or yawning that happens without planning. For infidelity to take place, it is hatched in the heart, planned for hours, days, weeks, or even months, and then executed with stealth, and maybe repeated many times.

Some married people don’t want to be unfaithful to their spouses, but to their regret and shame they find themselves entangled in it. These tips will help such people avoid getting into the trap.

For those who willingly cheat on their spouses because they see it as their right, nothing more needs to be said. For those who cannot help themselves because they have abnormal sex drive or libido, they need to seek medical help or psychological help.

Here are the 33 ways:

  1. Avoid offering a lift to someone of the opposite sex when you are alone in the car or when such a person is a stranger or a nodding acquaintance. Even when you have to give a lift to someone of the opposite sex while alone, try as much as possible not to get too personal. It’s better that you are accused of being mute or aloof than being too chatty. And if you want that lift to end there, don’t exchange business cards or phone numbers.
  1. (Especially for husbands):
    As much as possible, avoid hanging out without your wife at spots where alcoholic drinks, cigarettes, party music, and sparsely dressed women are available.
  1. (For husbands). Don’t encourage girls when they flirt with you. The best time to say no to sex overtures is the very first time the signs manifest.
  1. Wear your wedding ring always. And ensure that those around you notice it. Don’t give the excuse that marriage is in the heart. When people see that you have no wedding ring, they get the message that you are ready to “mingle” like a single.
  1. Wherever you are, make it clear that you are married and happy to be so. Display your family picture on your office desk or wall, if possible. Talk about your spouse and children.
  1. The quickest way to lay the sex foundation with the opposite sex is through steamy phone/internet chats. When you are not chatting face-to-face, you are usually emboldened to say things you may not ordinarily be able to say. So avoid steamy internet or phone chats with people of the opposite sex. Don’t see it as harmless fun. No. It is serious. Once you do the theory part of the “exam,” you are usually filled with the urge to complete the practicals as soon as possible!
  1. Don’t be an agony uncle to any lady or an agony aunt to any man, if such a person is not your close relative. That is, if you are a man, for example, don’t accept to listen privately to a female colleague’s tales of how badly her husband or boyfriends have treated her. Listening to such tales usually elicits sympathy. Sympathy leads to empathy. Empathy elicits a need to offer consolation. That leads to a need to offer a shoulder to lean on. Offering a shoulder to lean on leads to intimacy and there arises a need to reward such a person who has been so understanding and caring. Intimacy mixed with the need for a reward results in sex.
  1. If your friend becomes homeless, give him or her money to look for an apartment to live in, if you can. Don’t be eager to keep him or her in your home. You may end up losing not just your husband or wife to the homeless person but also your home too. You may end up being turned homeless by the person you are sheltering!

  1. For husbands: Don’t allow your wife’s sister, cousin or house help to wear provocative dresses – bum shorts, bra-less tops, towels over the chest, see-through nightgowns – while at home. Make it clear you won’t tolerate any such dressing in your home, no matter how old school you are accused of being.
  1. If you have a secretary/PA of the opposite sex, don’t stay late alone with them in the office. (Some people even insist on having PAs of the same sex, to avoid temptation).
  1. For wives: Whether you prepared a meal or not, please don’t allow your female house help or sister to serve the meal to your husband. Men usually get sexually attracted to women who serve them food.
  1. Don’t have a habit of taking a person of the opposite sex out for lunch or dinner. Except where it is not possible, always make it a group affair.
  1. Don’t buy romantic or suggestive gifts as birthday presents for people of opposite sex, and don’t encourage anyone giving you such. Why should a married person buy a person of the opposite sex items like flowers, pants, bras, boxers, make-up kit, earrings, necklaces? Buy a life-changing book or something good but plain. Alternatively, encourage other colleagues to contribute money for a gift for the celebrant.
  1. If you notice that you are getting ideas about a lady or man, think of how to stop it. One way is to tell your spouse about it or joke about it with your spouse. Such a feeling will likely evaporate once discussed.
  1. Never get tipsy outside your home. If you want to indulge in alcohol beyond your capacity, do so at home, close to your spouse. Tipsy people are highly sexually vulnerable.

  1. For husbands: If any woman is sexually harassing you or tempting you, please tell your wife promptly.
  1. For wives: If a male colleague touches your breasts or bum in the name of a joke, warn him firmly or slap the living daylight out of his eyes, even if he is your boss.
  1. Don’t answer phone calls away from your spouse, or hide your text messages or emails from him/her. Secrecy increases your chances of being unfaithful.
  1. Keep away, as much as possible, from your ex. Be friends with them, if need be, but avoid private visits, calls, or gifts. And never be in a room alone with your ex. A former lover is not called an old flame for nothing. And an old fire stick is easier to catch fire!
  1. Make your bedroom as private as possible. Don’t allow anybody, except your spouse and children, in your bedroom.
  1. Avoid being home alone with grown-up house helps, wife’s sister, husband’s brother, etc.
  1. If your doctor, hair stylist, masseur, fitness instructor, dance instructor, etc, is of the opposite sex, be on your guard: be careful how close you get with them.
  1. When you quarrel with your spouse, don’t place a sex embargo. The family is not United Nations!
  1. Avoid exciting yourself with porn or sexually charged materials like books, pictures or videos.
  1. Avoid lewd jokes and gestures with the opposite sex. Also don’t see steamy movies in the company of a person of the opposite sex who is not your spouse.

  1. For husbands: Don’t allow your brother/cousin or male driver to be the one who is always taking your wife to the market, salon, etc.
  1. Don’t pay a visit to the opposite sex who is alone in a hotel room or even a residential home. Even if you are able to resist all temptations, you may be raped! Your drink or food can be spiked.
  1. For wives: Avoid actions that are seen as come-on signs. For example, don’t touch male colleagues or friends when you chat with them. Don’t call men “darling,” “sweetheart,” etc. Men take such words at face value. Don’t giggle repeatedly or roll your eyes at men when you are with them, if you don’t have any ulterior motive.
  1. For wives: Dress fashionably but not in a sexually inviting way. Men interpret such dressing as a subtle invitation.

  1. Avoid keeping late nights. Darkness increases the urge to explore.
  1. Avoid taking drugs, drinks or foods with aphrodisiac qualities, especially when your spouse is not available.
  1. Beware of jobs or assignments that will keep you away from your spouse for months or years. Body no be firewood o! You may discover, too late, that even though you have acquired the wealth, you’ve lost your spouse or home.
  1. Finally, whether you believe in God or not, spirituality purges the mind of wanton sexual urges. It also makes one avoid sexual jokes, sexual pictures and sexual gestures that lead to infidelity. When you feel you are moving towards infidelity, read religious literature, meditate, sing or pray, or seek help.

Infidelity in marriage is dishonesty. It is fraud. It is betrayal of trust – the trust of your spouse, the trust of society, and the trust of God.

Keeping the marital bed undefiled is not as difficult as many people claim. Keeping the marriage vow unbroken is honourable. It is sweet. It is fulfilling. Everybody who chooses to do it can do it.

Those who are faithful to their spouses all their lives are those who make conscious efforts to be faithful. And later in life when they look back, they discover that they have not missed anything nor lost anything.

5 Comments

  1. Henry D July 31, 2016 Reply
    • Azuka Onwuka July 31, 2016 Reply
  2. Henry D July 31, 2016 Reply
  3. david July 31, 2016 Reply
    • Azuka Onwuka July 31, 2016 Reply

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