The Adultery I Didn’t Commit

The Adultery I Didn’t Commit

By Anayo Nwosu

Anayo Nwosu

It happened in December 2001. Just one month after my church wedding.

It was very messy as it was embarrassing.

Adultery?

Never! Not me! Not then!

I couldn’t fathom how it happened but I needed to cure myself first of the obvious venereal disease before I continued with the investigation into how it actually happened.

I woke up that fateful morning to find out that the cap of my staff of office – the real Mr. Nwosu and my certificate of membership of the male folk – was lacerated as if it was dipped into boiling oil.

It happened overnight. I was scared.

I went back to bed and woke up to see that I was not dreaming. I walked about with my left hand in my pocket to wedge the dangling.

“How do I face my wife?” I asked aloud.

I’m a victim of the master’s bedroom creation. We shared a room. I couldn’t hide so much from her. So, she would soon find out either when I was called to duty or while dressing up after bathing. It’s even worse as ours was a young marriage with its attendant intimacy.

I must do something urgently.

I staged a quarrel with my wife to get a breather to enable me to sort myself out and to limit the collateral damage. It was just too early for me to be accused of infidelity.

I was also in pains. But I couldn’t moan loudly and let the cat out of the bag. So I bore it like a ram.

The new doctor I met on duty at my hospital in Ikeja, Lagos didn’t help matters. He concluded that I had contracted a venereal disease and prescribed some drugs upon physical examination although he collected specimen for lab tests . The drugs were out of stock and I was required to buy the drugs from a pharmacy. I chose the one near my house.

I was lucky to have met an elderly pharmacist at Ogba Bus Stop, Lagos. He noticed my troubled look as he took my prescription. He asked if I minded his seeing the lesion on my manhood. I agreed and he took me to his inner room.

The pharmacist shocked me. He said that I was reacting to a drug I took. He recalled that I was in his pharmacy three days earlier to buy Fansidar, an anti-malaria drug. I nodded and he concluded that I reacted to the malaria drug.

Wow! I exhaled. I felt like dancing. I felt like shouting. I felt what the whole Brazil felt when Neymar scored the Olympic goal-winning penalty against Germany.

The saviour pharmacist warned that I should avoid drugs in the pyrimethamine-sulfadoxine family. I was also told to run away from Sulphur-containing drugs like Septrin and Flagyl.

Having been exonerated by the pharmacist, I rushed home to give my testimony to my wife who could not understand my newly developed queer behaviour. She was even thinking whether I had started showing my real character few weeks after our wedding.

Though human, I never expected to fall that early. It wouldn’t have sounded nice to have been accused of committing adultery one month after my wedding.

How could I have proven my innocence when the evidence was so glaring?

Please find out the drugs you react to. People die of adverse drug reactions.

The man in me nearly died over that experience!

  • Anayo Nwosu
  • Lagos
  • anayonwosu@gmail.com

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